I’ve always hoped that Lee Child would one day announce that Jack Reacher, American hero and all-around killing machine, is an act of satire sold by a British writer to an American audience hungry to believe that this mal-adjusted giant is a not just a good guy but the kind of good guy that fat little boys want to be when they grow up.

Given that the American public has also chosen to believe that can’t-quite-make-it-to- 5’8″ Tom Cruise is the perfect embodiment of 6’4″ Jack Reacher, I think we’ve moved beyond satire.

So when I saw a challenge to “write a silly poem or limerick poking fun at the fictional character of your choice.” giant Jack came to mind.

Jack The Giant Killer

With no home, no friends and no car
giant Jack Reacher wanders afar
He kills and he maims
to save helpless dames,
a psycho who thinks he’s a star.