‘Harker’ (2026) by James Patterson and Duane Swierczynski, narrated by Christina Ricci, David Oyelowo, David Denman, and Marcus Henderson – Disappointing, all glitter, no gold.

IN A NUTSHELL
A collection of clichés dressed in borrowed glamour. Almost insultingly derivative. Weak story. Limp ending. Good performers who did their best with a thin script.

I picked this up because Duane Swierczynski co-wrote it, it starred Christina Ricci, was only three hours long and was included in my Audible membership. It turned out that being short and free were the best things about it. 

I’ve been disappointed by Patterson before, most recently by the disappointing ‘Holmes, Margaret and Poe’. He sketches out some glittering ideas but doesn’t put in the work to make them come to life. I decided to try this anyway because I’d enjoyed the bizarre humour of Duane Swierczynski’s ‘California Bear and because Christina Ricci knows how to give a strong but ironic performance. Sadly, there was neither humour nor irony in ‘Harker’.

‘Harker’ was the kind of story I can imagine a TV producer using an AI to come up with. It was all glitter and no gold. It dressed a poorly thought-through plot in borrowed glamour, taking character names from ‘Dracula’ but not carrying over any of their attributes, setting the story in New Orleans, presumably to lean into the Ann Rice associations, but neither the story nor the characters had much to do with New Orleans. 

The story was told as an all-cast production, which meant that descriptions were replaced with sound effects and accents, and the dialogue had to carry the burden of both exposition and character development. The sound effects were OK. The accents were generic. The script was thin. Much of the dialogue was melodramatic and clichéd. There was neither tension nor intimacy. The performers did the best they could, but they hadn’t been given much to work with.

The narrative was split between two timelines, perhaps to add tension that wouldn’t have been there in a linear narrative, but it was clumsily done and tended to make the story lose pace rather than gain tension. 

The ending was limp and unsatisfying. No drama, just more dancing around and an ill-defined idea of who Harker was. It finished with a hint that there could be a sequel. If there is, I won’t be listening to it. 

2 thoughts on “‘Harker’ (2026) by James Patterson and Duane Swierczynski, narrated by Christina Ricci, David Oyelowo, David Denman, and Marcus Henderson – Disappointing, all glitter, no gold.

  1. I gave up on Patterson decades ago, and was confirmed in my decision when I saw a TV report on him and his stable of writers churning out potboilers based on whole drawers full of outlines

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